"No rotten talk should come from your mouth, but only what is good for the building up of someone in need, in order to give grace to those who hear." Ephesians 4:29

Speech – it fills out lives. It is estimated that the average person speaks approximately 16,000 words every day (though estimates vary greatly). That's 5,840,000 words per year, or as many as over 7½ KJV Bibles! If, then, speech is such an important part of our lives, it makes sense that we should pay close attention to what the Bible has to say about our speech. Before I go on, by the way, I would like to point out that, while I usually say "speech," this article applies to all language-based communication, such as texting, writing, and typing. Anyway, unfortunately, not much of our speech today seems to line up with the Biblical model of how people should talk. We need to look into the depths of God's Word and find out how we truly need to use our mouths. Since there are several aspects to speech, I will address each individually. To begin, let us lay the foundation for the Biblical model of speech.

The Significance of our Speech

First, we must see why it matters what we say. Many people seem to think, "Words are just words. What's the big deal?" This is a very dangerous way of thinking. The Bible explains in many places how significant our speech is. For example:

"But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." Matthew 12:36
"And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire by hell." James 3:6
"Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
And those who love it will eat its fruit." Proverbs 18:21

These are only a few of the many verses in the Bible dedicated to our speech. It is nothing to take lightly. What we say is extremely important. We cannot brush our speech off as irrelevant if we want to live like the Bible commands us to live.

The Source of our Speech

Where does our speech originate? After all, this should affect how we treat it and think of it. So, what does the Bible say about the origin of speech? Well, Jesus specifically tells us where our words come from in Matthew 12:34a, 35 (personally translated).

"After all, the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart.
The good person spews good from his good collection, and the evil person spews evil from his evil collection."

Our speech all comes from the heart. Our every word comes from within. In fact, the word "heart" is often misunderstood. When the Jews spoke purely of emotions, they called them the bowels. Since we often get "gut feelings," they assumed that feelings originated in the guts. The heart, on the other hand, was thought of as the seat of consciousness. The heart was meant as including the feelings, intellect, and will. So then, our speech comes from the overflow of what we feel, what we think, and what we will.

This is a very important thing to notice, as these three things work together in our speech. Our speech comes from us; it is the sum of our feelings, thoughts, and resolve—the three divisions of consciousness. This means that our speech is one of the most accurate reflections of ourselves which is visible to others. The clearest picture of who you are is shown by what you say. This is Biblical truth, and thus cannot be refuted.

"But," you might object, "people can lie, and don't actions speak louder than words?" These are both true statements. However, for one thing, both speech and actions can lie. When people pretend, they usually go all-out. In this case, their speech is an indictment against them, because God knows the truth. Secondly, while actions speak louder than words, words speak far more often than actions. Speech reveals almost everything in you, while actions only reveal what things in you are strong enough to affect your life.

The Subject of our Speech

If our speech reflects our heart, then what we talk about must reveal what we think about, feel, or intend. More than anything, our topics of conversation come from our topics of meditation. The things we think most are likely to be what we say most. This explains why people talk about their hobbies and interests: they think about their topics and interests. This is why it is important to follows Philippians 4:8 (also personally translated).

"This is what's left, brothers: everything which is honest, everything honorable, everything reasonable, everything pure, everything acceptable, everything respectable—if something has any excellence and any praise—consider these things."

If we are told to think about these things, and our speech is the result of our thoughts, then we also need to talk about these things. This should be revolutionary for us. How often do we talk about things that aren't honest, aren't honorable, aren't reasonable, aren't pure, aren't acceptable, aren't respectable, aren't excellent, and/or aren't praiseworthy? So much of what we say is lacking in one of these ways. We talk inappropriately about sexual things—oops, that's not pure. We tell rumors about people—wait, do we know if those are honest? We trash talk people we don't like—that's not very respectable. We make fun of the people around us—how honorable is that? If we followed this list for our speech, it would improve drastically. However, some of these things deserve more discussion.

Mind in the Gutter

Our culture is sex-saturated. You can't go anywhere without seeing something sexual, from subtle suggestion to explicit demonstration. Because of the constant sexual emphasis in our culture, our minds seem to spend far too much time in places that are just not appropriate. This reveals itself through our speech. Sexual jokes are outrageously common. People laugh at unintended references all the time. People sneak in little phrases just for the fun of it. Why?

The reason for all this is fairly simple: our culture is depraved. We've put up with too much for too long, and now we hold nothing sacred. God, however, holds sex very sacred. It was a divine gift for human life on the earth. After all, see these passages:

So God created man in His own image;
He created him in the image of God;
He created them male and female.

God blessed them, and God said to them, "Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it."
(Genesis 1:27, 28)

And the man said:

This one, at last, is bone of my bone,
and flesh of my flesh;
this one will be called woman,
for she was taken from man.

This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.
(Genesis 2:23, 24)

Oh, that he would kiss me with the kisses of his mouth!
For your love is more delightful than wine.
The fragrance of your perfume is intoxicating;
your name is perfume poured out.
No wonder young women adore you.
Take me with you—let us hurry.
Oh, that the king would bring me to his chambers.
(Song of Songs 1:2 – 4, also the rest of this book)

God made sex special. Yet we turn it into a joke. This is especially horrifying when we make jokes of people abusing God's plan of sexuality. We joke about sexual immorality, which God constantly forbids! It is by no means acceptable for us to use our speech to turn God's most sacred physical gift into a joke.

Talking Wrongly towards Others

This is another serious, but very common (unfortunately even in my life) offence of speech. We use our speech wrongly towards others in three main ways: gossiping about them, ridiculing them to their faces, and verbally abusing them. These are all wrong and definitely not Christ-like.

"But I tell you, everyone who is angry with his brother without a cause will be subject to judgment. And whoever says to his brother, 'Fool!' will be subject to the Sanhedrin. But whoever says, 'You moron!' will be subject to hellfire." Matthew 5:22

This seems to be a very harsh verse. Calling someone a moron will send you to Hell? Well, let's examine this for a moment. First, the word "Fool" here is actually not Greek, but either Hebrew or Aramaic. Regardless, it means "empty one" or "worthless one." It would be like me getting in your face and saying, "You're worthless!" That's pretty mean if someone is serious, right? Now, the word for "moron" means basically just that. However, it can also imply saying, "Shut up!" Here's a picture of what Jesus is talking about: you look at someone with utter contempt, like he's just a bug, and say, "Shut up, you idiot!" In this verse, Jesus essentially describes verbal abuse, and He condemns it as just as bad as murder (see verse 21). In a way, it is murder. Intense verbal abuse can murder someone inside—it can ruin morale, confidence, hope, and mental stability.

The Vocabulary of our Speech

Ah, now on to one of the most controversial topics in anything related to speech: what words are appropriate, and what words aren't? To be frank, we're talking about if it's okay to cuss, and what "borderline" words are okay. Now, the Bible says very little about what we would consider cussing. Why? It's a mystery. It could be because the authors thought the issue was obvious. What, then, is a Biblical understanding of appropriate language? To answer this question, I must refer back to a previous verse, Matthew 12:34a, 35 (personally translated).

"After all, the mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart.
The good person spews good from his good collection, and the evil person spews evil from his evil collection."

This includes both topic of speech and the individual words. Now, let's think about cuss words for a second. How many of them are really things that should be overflowing from your heart out of your mouth? You have human waste, sex, private body parts, insults, the Lake of Fire, condemnation, etc. Are any of these things worthy of overflowing from the heart of a child of God? Do we want to condemn people and make light of Hell just in exclamation? Do we want to tell people to be sexually immoral? Do we want to call people mean names? Any answer besides "no" to these questions is indicative of serious heart problems! Think about cuss words and how ridiculous it is for us to scatter them throughout our speech! They should not be overflowing from our hearts.

Then the question arises regarding the "borderline" words. I will hesitantly list some here: heck, crap, dang, fudge, freakin'. You know the rest. Many people are offended by one or more of these words. What, then? Well, if we were simply acting on the offense principle alone, then we would be left in a hopeless mess trying to adjust our language per person. Remember that it is not Christ-like to offend people by careless words. Jesus never offended anyone without necessity: it was always for the sake of bringing people to repentance. Using any of these words will not help bring someone to repentance. So, besides the offense principle, if we apply the previous principle for regular cuss words, we arrive at the same conclusion as before. Do these things really need to overflow from our hearts? You could object, "But they're not really bad!" However, remember Philippians 4:8? Use of even this "moderate" language just doesn't stand up to God's standard. I will admit that I sometimes use these words, but there is no justification for them. Between offending people and the worthlessness of this language, there is no reason at all to use even these "borderline" words. Still, though, this is as the crowd once told Jesus: "This teaching is hard! Who can hear it?" (John 6:60). I'm not going to say you are a bad Christian if you use these words. However, it is my belief that we are called never to stop improving all areas of our life. In my walk with Christ, my speech has always been fairly moderate, so this is a new stage for me at an appropriate time. As for you, God may have other things for you to work on that take precedence over this. Our standards must only increase in accordance with our understanding.