My List: The Girl of My Dreams

It’s popular, or so it seems when I go to camp, among Christians who want godly relationships to make lists of what they want in a girl/guy. I’ve never done this before, primarily for two reasons. First, I usually see myself as just a nerdy loser, so I’ve often in the past felt like I may as well settle for any Christian girl who’s interested (that’s ultra-rare, though, and I’m not sure whether the “Christian” part or the “interested” part is the biggest hurdle). Second, I’ve disguised that first reason by saying I shouldn’t limit myself, since I don’t know who God will chose for me, and whoever He chooses might not be exactly the type of girl I was expecting. However, I’ve decided that, whether God blesses me with the kind of girl I hope for or surprises me with an unlikely love, a guy can dream, right? Therefore, I decided I would finally make my own list. So, without further ado, here’s what I’d think of as the perfect girl for me (I use bullet points instead of a numbered list because I honestly will not be able to list these in any particular order, just whatever pops into my head each time I hit “enter”):

• As frivolous as this may sound, I would really like for her to be an Owl City fan to at least some extent. Owl City is as close as one could get to an exact expression of my personality through music, so it’s somewhat important to me that I find someone I can share that with and will genuinely enjoy it.
• This is utterly non-negotiable: she has to have a relationship with God that  impresses me, makes me feel competitive, or makes me jealous (or some combination of the three). I can’t get by with a relationship that focuses on the temporal. I need one that is mutually spiritually enriching, and that can’t happen if we don’t both have good relationships with God.
• I would really like her to be innocent: more than most people I know, but not to the point of naiveté. Innocence is beauty to me. Owl City has a song called “Honey and the Bee.” There is a line in that song that says, “And if I reached for your hand, would your eyes get wide?” Can you see that picture? I would love to see the realization of that.
• She really needs to be quite a bit more extroverted than I am, though not necessarily even a true extrovert. On a scale of 1 to 100, with 1 being totally introverted and 100 being totally extroverted, I took a test and got a 13. The average score is 50. I think I would prefer a girl from the 30-60 range, though that could change. She really does need, though, to be at least 20 points above me.
• This kind of goes along with the previous one, but I think she needs to be able to pull my out of my box. Don’t get me wrong; I love my box. However, it does get uncomfortable at times and it isn’t good for me to stay there 24/7. I’m too scared to get out by myself, so a helping hand would do wonders for me.
• She needs to be someone who I can hold and support. I’m not the most emotionally stable person in the world, but I derive strength from supporting others. Just by letting me be there for her, she would be being there for me. One thing I love is to be there for people (and, to be entirely honest, especially cute girls).
• There are five kinds of attractive looks. I’ve given them each Greek names which are related to, but not always identical to, their English meanings: eros, chresis, athoos, horaios, and kalos. I won’t explain the Greek words for now; if you care (which I doubt), you can look them up. Most girls don’t have strictly one kind, but have a certain balance. Anyway, I want a girl with primarily kalos and secondarily athoos. Horaios is more subjective, and thus I would want it to grow as I got to know her. (Fine, if you want, here’s a basic translation: I want her to mainly seem pretty, and also cute, and I want her to grow more beautiful in my eyes with time.)
• I’m not even remotely a country boy (I’ll admit I love sweet tea and fried chicken, but so do plenty of city dwellers (if I was a country boy, I probably would’ve said “city folk”)), and I’ve never been attracted to country girls. So, that would be a negative thing, especially if she likes any songs about tractors (besides, of course, Tim Hawkins’ “Pretty Pink Tractor”).
• I want to be naturally comfortable sharing my thoughts and feelings with her, and she with me. The first part, though, is a bit of a tough one. Rarely do I share my personal thoughts and feelings with anyone, even family, though I am trying to do this more with my church family.
• She absolutely cannot cuss at all, and cannot use God’s name in vain, even in such an “insignificant” case as, “Oh, Lord!” I’m not at all okay with either of those things.
• Two little physical features I would love: a cute (not necessarily really high or anything, but just plain cute) voice and innocent eyes.
• I would really like someone who gets excited and overjoyed, though not to the point of just acting like an idiot. I want a girl who loves life, takes it all in with wonder, and enjoys God’s blessings with her whole pure heart, someone who truly appreciates the beauty and awe of creation as God intended.
• As is praised in 1 Peter 3:4, I would love a girl “with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes.” For the longest time, I’ve seen girls be loud, obnoxious, and assertive. That’s not attractive to me.
• I want to find a girl who is diligent from her soul, someone who is willing to work in all things as if for God. She doesn’t have to be an A student, but she needs to try her best. She doesn’t have to have a great job, or any job, but she needs to do whatever she does with the passion that comes from Spirit-given goodness.
• She doesn’t have to be really smart, but I would like to be able to have decent intelligent conversation with her. I’d hope that, even if I end up way over her head, she can play along so well that I can’t help but listen just as well to her when she talks about something I barely care about.
• This is a bit random, but I hope she’s funnier than I am. Let’s face it; Zack is the funny one in my family. I can only get in the occasion good joke, half of the time at his expense. I would hope she’s more creative in that respect than I am.
• I need a girl who strongly recognizes the importance of commitment and dedication to sustain emotion and feeling, but doesn’t neglect or put down feelings. Without that, our relationship would be doomed from the start.
• This isn’t absolutely necessary, but I’d like her to have had no more than one or two boyfriends by the time we start dating. More than that could mean a lot of baggage and probably an impulsive, emotional disposition. Of course, stuff happens, so that’s variable.
• As extremely cheesy as this sounds, we need to complete each other. I lack in several areas of my life, and she will inevitably also lack if she’s human. We need to be able to complement each other’s strengths and compensate for our weaknesses.
• This is a bit random and of low priority, but it would be great if she was a good singer.
• Also random and of low priority, I would want her to wear pink a lot. To me, pink just makes cute girls cuter (though not as much so for those with light skin and light hair).
• This must be the random and low-priority (in this case, super low) section, ‘cause here’s another one. I would like for her to know a decent amount about computers, but still quite a bit less than me (or she could know way more than me, which would be epic). If she like to play Zelda or Super Smash Bros., I’d also be very happy.
• Finally, she needs to be someone who can get me, and vice versa. The fact is that we’ll never get anywhere if we don’t understand each other (as the Bible tells husbands to do for their wives in 1 Peter 3:7). I wouldn’t mention this except for the fact that understanding me is truly a formidable task, and I feel like I’m asking a lot of her, whoever she turns out to be. Even I don’t understand a lot about me (though an Owl City blog post about introverts has helped recently). She’ll be up for a challenge, so I pray she’ll be ready.
• Finally, she really does need to be either a Calvinist or at least respectful of and open to the doctrines of grace. It may sound snobby or insignificant, but this theology really impacts my Christian worldview, and the differences in perspective that come between a strong Calvinist and a strong Arminian will inevitably cause issues.

Well, that’s about it. There are probably other things I could think of if I tried long enough, but this makes up the majority of what I’m looking for. I’m not sure why I’m posting this, though, considering I doubt that anyone will actually care. I considered just keeping this for myself, but decided it’s my blog, so I may as well post it. If you know anyone like this, you probably shouldn’t tell me for her sake (lol). Anyway, I trust that one day God will lead me to who He wants for me, and whether she exactly fits this list or not, she’ll be exactly what I need. Praise Him for His wondrous plans!