As you may or may not realize already, I am a guy. However, being the unique Christian guy that I am, I have a unique perspective. By the grace of God our Father through the faith of my parents and pastor (now former pastor, sadly), I have not been blinded by the world's lies about relationships. Also contributing to my perspective has been an extent of empathetic objectivity. I've been in one relationship myself, which has long past. Because of the nature of the relationship and the time that has occurred since it ended, I've been gifted not only with the common 20/20 hindsight, but the ability to see how my new knowledge applies to relationships in general. My hope here is to help any girls reading this post avoid some of the common traps I've seen many of them fall prey to by giving insight into the mind of a guy. Note that this is primarily oriented towards teenage relationships: these are the main ones that burden my heart and the ones I have the most experience studying.
Don't Trust Us
This is probably the best advice I have for you, though it requires elaboration. Let me explain something to you: most guys are not trustworthy. Why is this? Our culture has raised a generation of less-than-men who see girls primarily as sex objects. Most guys just want something physical out of their relationships, though they may also want something emotional. Neither of these should be primary in a healthy relationship: the primary interest should be the welfare (spiritual first, then physical and emotional) of the other person—this is especially necessary for guys. The fact that most guys have wrong goals for their relationships means wrong motives, and these wrong motives often lead to wrong means, such as emotional manipulation. Oftentimes, even without realizing it or purposing it, guys will say just the "right thing" to get the girl or convince her of something. Watch out for stuff like this. Try to avoid having conversations of emotional matters, such as family problems, with a guy you don't know very well. If he is interested, he will almost certainly take advantage of your vulnerability. Sometimes they will try to convince you to do something or believe something: when this happens, be alert for manipulative words and phrases, unexpected compliments, and any attempt to bypass your reason or conscience when convincing you. If you see much of these things, shut him down. Generally, a sincere guy will respect your wishes, but a fake (or someone with wrong motives) may try to continue or dejectedly "give up." Most guys, whether they realize it or not, know the right thing to say for manipulation, and will use it either intentionally or subconsciously.
A sincere guy will be willing to earn your trust. He won't take shortcuts or manipulate you; he will also often avoid particularly emotional or intimate conversations before a good relationship is forming, so as to prevent artificial emotional acceleration. Often, a relationship will move too quickly if people are highly emotional at the beginning. A sincere guy will try to avoid this situation. If a guy is sincere, you will be able to trust him in little things and big things. You won't catch him in a lie; he won't make stuff up to impress you. He'll be open and honest about his shortcomings, and he'll be honest but gentle about yours. He won't even make white-lie compliments—if something's wrong, he'll be kind about it, reassuring you of your good traits and refusing to be cruel about your imperfections. However, he will certainly acknowledge your faults. He won't pretend they aren't there. He'll just look on them with mercy. Honesty and integrity are necessary traits. While it is usually good to give people the benefit of the doubt, if a guy is interested in you, make him prove himself.
A Jerk is a Jerk
Some guys are just jerks. That's how life is. However, I've seen girls be very willing to get in a relationship with a jerk if he's just nice to her. This is always a bad idea. There are chiefly three reasons for this. The first is that it is selfish. No matter how he treats you, if he's mean or obnoxious to most people, it is simply mean on your own part to support him. It's just wrong. Another reason is that it encourages his behavior. If he thinks he can be an idiot and still get the girl, he won't be interested in changing. No matter how good you are, no matter how much you want him to change, he won't bother. If he can have you and his habits, he won't care to pick one. On the other hand, a jerk who can't get a girlfriend may eventually realize that being a jerk is ruining his chances. While he won't change to just please his girl, he may change to get one at all. Finally, it's setting you up for a bad relationship. Let me explain something: a jerk will only hold back his jerkiness until he has the girl and the first "in love" feelings start to fade. When the initial attraction starts not being enough (which it most certainly will), he will begin to treat you just like everyone else. This is how girls get into abusive relationships: they see a mean person, fall "in love," and before they know it, he's "changed" and begins treating them terribly. If you don't believe me, ask around. It's quite often this pattern. A jerk is a jerk—you're not going to be exempt from his general bad treatment of others by having feelings for him. He may be sweeter than a warm chocolate melting cake on a Carnival cruise (if you know what I'm talking about, you really get this) at first, but that won't last if he's terrible to others. Besides, even if it does last (rare, but possible), if he's still mean to others, why would you want him? Does it make you feel special to be the only person he doesn't treat like dirt? That's a very narcissistic, selfish way to think. A jerk is a jerk—be sure to avoid all of them.
His Outside is An Extension of His Inside
A lot of girls have this crazy idea that some guy can be "bad on the outside, but nice on the inside." This is just not true. I don't know where this idea came from…oh, wait. Yes, I do. It came from manipulative guys who were jerks all the time but put on a show of being sweet and kind to get a girl. These fakes are so convincing sometimes that it has become generally accepted that people can be one way on the outside and another on the inside. However, the Bible speaks otherwise. For example, Matthew 12:35b, 36 says that our speech (outside action) comes from our hearts (inside). "For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things." This is undeniable Scripture. James 2:17 says, "Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead." Faith is the inner reality, and works is the outward thing. There is no faith if it does not produce works, thus the inside and the outside must agree.
What, then, is the vulnerability and softness that some "tough guys" show to girls? Certainly it's not always an act, right? That is true. This stuff is real, but it is not deep. It is pure emotion, and (this is key) emotion is the most shallow part of the human soul. The intellect requires facts to be persuaded, the will requires motivation to be set, but the emotion can be manipulated by the simplest of things. A romantic novel can sway your emotions, but it won't convince you that it is real or influence you to make an important decision. Even tough guys have emotions, and while emotions are not bad, they are shallow and often misleading, especially when they are treated as deep and significant. When guys get all emotional in front of girls, they are not showing their inside. They are simply showing the outer emotional response they have to whatever situation.
In reality, someone who is bad on the outside is bad on the inside. He may have issues and problems, but that is no excuse for his behavior. Wrong is wrong, no matter how one feels. Look for a guy who has a good outside, and then peel back the layers to find if the inside is as good. See, a bad person might pretend to be good, but a good person won't pretend to be bad.
Trust God over Yourself
God has explicitly told us many things that relate to our relationships. I won't be going over all of these things here, as I've covered them previously, but I will make an important point here. Trust in Scripture, the very Word of God's mouth, over what you feel. Sometimes
they will contradict each other. You may feel like you should be with a certain unbeliever, but God says to not be unequally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14). You may feel "in love" with a member of the same sex, but God says that homosexuality is evil (1 Corinthians 6:9). The list goes on and on. Your feelings will lie: they will pull you away from God's revealed will. When they contradict Scripture, do not trust them. Trusting them is the easiest way to make a relationship decision you will later regret. Note, however, that feelings are not always bad things. God made them for good. Sometimes, your feelings will line up with Scripture. When this happens, plunge into them and feel the way God intends for you to feel.
The Father Test
I have one last piece of advice for now. If you heed all of the advice given so far, you should generally do well. However, if you heed this piece of advice, you may never fail. If you have accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you are a child of the Living God, the Holy One. The perfect God, who gave us the Ten Commandments and the law of love, is your Father. So consider this: what if you lived with Him? What if He was your Father on earth? Think of whatever guy you like now. Would you be proud to come home and show him to your Father, saying, "Look, Daddy! This is my new boyfriend! Isn't he great?" If you are unsure of the answer, or you know you wouldn't do it, then forget that guy. Obviously, he's not the one God intends for you, at least in his present spiritual state. Remember: you are daughters of the Most High God. You deserve someone worthy to be with one of the girls Jesus Christ died to save. If you think your dad on earth is protective of you in dating, wait until your boyfriend or (one day) husband gives an account to your heavenly Father for how he treated you.
Conclusion
In the end, the only thing that matters in a relationship is to be in it for the right reasons with a guy after God's own heart, someone who will love you as Christ loves the Church, someone who will treat others properly, someone to whom God can entrust one of His beloved daughters. Don't settle for anything less. To do so will cause more harm than good. Your Daddy won't put up with a guy who causes you harm.